CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
