Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
