What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
