I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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