what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
