Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize
