y did u give ur computer a hand job?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
