Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
