just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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