a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
