Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I want a musical about memes.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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