can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
