Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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