i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
