Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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