i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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