I bet he comes in French.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The power of my boobs compel you
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
