I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
