You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize