I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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