Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
