wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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