You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
