dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
