I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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