you guys were way drunker than both of me
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just found a bag of teeth...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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