I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
