I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
