Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
