Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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