i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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