Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
me + whiskey = a bad person
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize