Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
