I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
