Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
