took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
