Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
