we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
