I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
