I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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