If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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