Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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