remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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