don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
