i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
