You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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