I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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