I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
