Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
