you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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