Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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