Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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