I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
