You're so nebulous sometimes
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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