conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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