everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
