Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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