Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
And then my night got REAL pukey
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
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