So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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