I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
