you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
