You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
i think my cat just said my name.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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