I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize