I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Randomize
