dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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